Let Sleeping Derps Lie
by barbershoppepole
Summary: John messed up. Really badly. Dave was going to be soooo mad. O.O **REUPLOADED because I swore in the summary last time.**


Okay! So this is for the PLINK contest and yeah. I love them! :D Okay.

*kisses and disses*

John was screwed. Not the good kind of screwed. No. He was figuratively fucked up the ass. He had broken Dave's turntables. How that had happened, he didn't know. All he knew was that he'd been cleaning and then BAM. Broken turntables in all their broken glory.

He had to act quickly. And by act quickly, he meant run to the store and pick up some apple juice and pizza to try to calm Dave down. It usually worked.

Now it was three hours after the… _accident_. Dave was due to arrive at their shared apartment in ten minutes. John set up the gaming console and placed the pizza and apple juice on the table. He was going to make the night seem as normal as possible before breaking the news to Dave. Ha. _Breaking_ the news.

Dave walked into the house, dropping his bag by the front door a few minutes later. "Yo, Egbert. I'm home."

John took a deep breath, walking out to the living room with a fake smile on his face. "Hey! How was your day?"

Dave opened his arms for a hug as he spoke, "Lame as usual. No one stopped by."

John stepped into his arms and hugged him quickly, blushing and trying to hide his awkwardness. "Oh. Well… I have something that'll make your day better!"

"What's that?"

"I got pizza and apple juice for you."

Dave froze and let go of John, muttering a quick "I love you" and walking into the kitchen.

John leaned against the wall, letting out the breath he'd been holding. He shook his head. _Keep it together, Egbert. _He pushed off the wall and walked into the kitchen, catching Dave leaning over the pizza box, shoving slices into his mouth. The blonde looked up with a grin. "Enjoying the pizza, Dave?"

Dave nodded, chewing his mouthful of pizza. "Hell to the yes. You're the best, John." John blushed and shook his head. "C'mon, dude. Don't be modest." John shook his head again, a nervous look on his face. "Dude, what's up?"

John took a deep breath, closing his eyes. "Your..um….turntables…broke."

Dave pushed past him out the kitchen door, sprinting upstairs. John heard the bedroom door slam open and winced, a guilty look on his face. "EGBERT. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?"

John took a shaky breath and yelled back. "I was cleaning! It was an accident!"

Dave punched the wall, creating a loud noise, and slammed the door shut. John sighed and took a slice of pizza, nibbling at it. Suddenly, the door upstairs slammed again. "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH MY PIZZA."

John set the slice down, pouting a bit. He hadn't eaten all day. He made his way to the living room and started straightening things up. He fluffed up the couch cushions and laid a blanket over the back before falling face first onto the couch. He laid there for quite some time, listening to Dave storm around upstairs. In a few minutes, John felt himself doze off.

Dave had successfully fixed his turntables, seriously all they had needed was a new cord, and was sitting on the bed, staring at the wall. Usually, John would be upstairs by now, begging for forgiveness. Where was the stupid derp? Dave pushed off the bed and walked downstairs quietly, hoping to at least scare John in the middle of whatever he was doing. He jumped into the doorway of the kitchen, but John wasn't there. He tiptoed towards the living room and caught sight of his favorite companion on the couch. He grinned and crouched, crawling towards the couch.

When he reached the back, he jumped up, leaning over the rear of the couch. But, John didn't flinch. Dave growled and walked towards the front, getting ready to just kick John. When he reached the front of the couch, he heard a little snore come from John. Dave froze before cursing under his breath. Of course John fell asleep. He heard the little derp's stomach growl and winced, feeling a little bad that he wouldn't let John eat. Why didn't John eat? It's not like Dave would've yelled at him if he _had_ eaten. Well…he wouldn't have yelled a lot.

Dave laid down next to John, turning him on his side so that he spooning him. Fuck, this kid was a heavy sleeper. "JeeegusfuckJohnyou'resoheavy." Finally, the boy was turned and the spooning began. Dave pet John's head lightly and started whispering apologies, hoping that John's subconscious would hear them. "I'msososososorry. Also, try fucking eating next time. And if you're going to sleep, cover up with a blanket," Dave grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and laid it over them. He sort of turned into a mother when he was upset. "You're gonna get sick."

John sighed and mumbled, "Sorry," before curling in on himself, sleeping once more. Dave tensed. _When the FUCK did he wake up?_ He sighed and kneed John before pulling off his shades and sleeping beside him. The stupid fucking derp.

*kisses and disses*


End file.
